I push and push my little business up the hill.  I need money… bills to pay, prison dues…

Lucky I am creative… Lucky I explore… Lucky I still can, after it all…

I realised something about myself today.  I am no longer naive.  Or trusting, or cared about my appearance.  Though I stay neat and tidy… at least.  I often feel like I am so badly damaged that I have stopped believing in romance or love…

I wonder with all this depression and sadness through life-long abandonment, loss and negativity that surrounds me… is it growth?

Am I done for?  Or did I grow?

Where do I go from here?  Push ahead… Keep going… My family needs me…



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