Be still…my broken heart

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Ignore… Nasty narcissistic know-it-all, turn everything three-sixty like a coward and blame me.

Real men don’t make their woman cry so much, regret…

I failed yet again… Poor judgement, desperation for love and to be loved… I’m driven by this. You took my desperation and broke me…

I just keep on keeping… Trying everyday… I have to… For my child whom you drove away…

I’m broken… Hearted and spirited…. I don’t have any more hope that I will be loved by a man…

I am tired of the pain, sadness and being provoked… Emotionally bullied and told I’m the bully…

You must be proud…

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Wine an me…

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Hey bottle of red cabernet… It’s just you and me again… Still…. 

Drunken happiness, warm fire, slow music…

Just me an you, Mr Cabernet…

Death of my will

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Is there a way to bring back to life, one’s will?  Mine died an unnecessary death.  You battered me with negativity and told me just too many times how wrong I am and how everything is my fault and called me names… Like “stupid cunt”… What did you expect?  That I would sit quietly and receive constant hatred?  What do you keep me for?  To be your emotional punching bag?  I keep trying to tell myself it’s temporary and you will change… But you won’t.  I’ve given up… I have no will…. No will to love, no will to try, no will to do anything at all.

As someone who lives in constant hope….refusing to believe that people are so evil…. This is heavy for my soul….

I want to believe that I’m not all you say, that I’m good for something and maybe for someone…

But my will died… And I’m looking for hope… 

The only Cin

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