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try look for good.  It’s here somewhere.  I struggle to understand why people can say they love you but let you fall… say they care but don’t support you emotionally… 

I try.  I am starting to lose my nerve to go on or not.  Confused by my purpose… Why?  Why so much pain?  I don’t understand


in search of trouble

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Here I am in trouble AGAIN.  How you ask?  

I threw caution, I flirted and I expected.  I went in search of passion, something different, something new…. something taboo

Searching for that which I don’t have.  That which I don’t get….That which I want (and in my own head…must have)

Would be nice to laugh luxuriously and heartily to feel joy and have fun…  feel needed and put on a pedestal 

Alas… as I AM unfortunately human… I erred and selected someone totally out of range

It was good to escape while it lasted. 


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Sleep painting by Katrina Gaile

I love this painting… beautifully done.

“Give me novacaine – Green Day” 

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Courage under fire

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Today I found my soul.  It was wondering by itself in a dark place and looked so sad.  I embraced it warmly and said “no more…”

I took the first step and walked away.

Today I found my soul, myself and my courage. 

And it feels good

The only Cin

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