Weighty Issue

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I used to take a drug (unnecessarily so), for what was thought to be one of two things apparently wrong with me.  Last year, I decided to do away with all medicines unless necessary (I will swallow a Grandpa Headache tablet or two for hangovers and such).

Since stopping the drug after fifteen-years of consumption, I started gaining weight.  A lot of weight.  I gained 20kg in one year.  Now it doesn’t seem that bad on the surface, however I own twenty-five pairs of gorgeous near-new demin jeans (some Levi’s included), and all are in my “thin size”.  A pair of denim jeans can cost R120 to R2000, money I don’t have spare at the moment and also I have discovered that fashionable clothes for the fuller figure is crap.  What’s wrong with designers?  Seriously?

I have embarked on a diet regime and will be documenting it after which I will consider if I should post the details or not.

I will keep you all posted either way!

 

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Some of the “Lekker” parts about being a South African :)

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Moer Koffie – Coffee is the nicest when you just wake up.  There are awesome brands of African coffees available now.  We came up with “Moer-koffie”  which is ground coffee in a bag brewed in a kettle.  You can now buy “Moer Koffie” in bags like teabags.

Johannesburg in the spring – There is no better season than spring because its not too hot and not too cold and you get to witness the “birth” of plants and flowers after green buds appear everywhere.  In Gauteng, if you drive on the N1 North you will see the largest inland man-made forest in the world spanning over Johannesburg suberbs of Rosebank, Houghton, Norwood, Melrose…all the way past Sandton… What better way to spend the first few weeks in spring than to plant a tree…and work in the garden 🙂  The rest of South Africa is just as (if not more) beautiful.  We really should be thankful!

The Sunny Weather – We are so lucky to have so much sunshine in South Africa.  We get more vitamin D than most other continents – click here for more ——->  WHAT IS VITAMIN D AND WHY DO WE NEED IT? 

Rugby/Cricket and Braaing – There’s nothing nicer than a braai (barbeque) , being social and rugby/cricket….  I love the salads, the smell of the braai,  the way we socialise as South Africans.  We are a very friendly, sporty and hospitable nation!  I am proud to be part of that!

We invented necessary things – South Africans invented the Cat Scan, Oil from Coal (SASOL),  heart transplant (and later organ transplants), speed guns, Kreepy Krauly, APS therapy and Pratley Putty  among many!  Where would we be without all these practical things?

Our goggas are “woes” (pronounced voos) – “Parktown Prawns” / “Prawnies”/ “Parkhurst Prawn” are a maroony-red King Corn Cricket indigenous mostly to Gauteng.  However, yesterday I discovered they have them in Australia (but they are brown)  and New Zealand!  I saw a pic of a guy holding up a carrot and their “Prawny” looked quite sweet as he held the carrot with two hands nibbling it.  Although they look ugly and scary they are actually root-eaters (like carrots, bulbs etc) but they do chomp on the occassional snail I believe.  Besides these “crustacious” insects we have a HUGE variety of ants, locusts, grasshoppers and very very interesting spiders!

Rooibos tea and Hoodia – does not grow naturally anywhere else in the world or on the African continent.  Only in South Africa.  So we have the opportunity to be thin and healthy! 😀

Our sense of humour and our (very) mixed cultures – we may have political issues like everywhere else, but we don’t take ourselves too seriously.  We have some of the funniest people here and we love to laugh!  We have South African born Lebanese, Indian, Chinese, Malayan, Portuguese, Arabian, Greek, German, Italian and many other cultures.  We have a wonderful tolerance and respect for cultures, religions and beliefs.  With all this, we shouldn’t “sweat the small stuff” and be proud we get along – and yes, we definitely DO get along….far better than other countries that have genocide.

I could go on and on…  There is sooooo much more!  Like our wildlife parks,  fauna and flora and so many other things…   But that’s enough for today!  I’m going to spend time in the garden! 🙂

Conversations with me, myself and I

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For days now, I’ve been pondering all sorts of questions regarding my future.  Why is it that some of us plan for the future?  All those clichés and sayings “live for today”, “dance like nobody is watching” are empty and meaningless if we constantly plan.

I want to be thrilled.  I want to experience joy – and whilst we are on the subject of joy, I love this word.  It is very expressive for three little letters.  My favourite site describes joy below, stating “feeling of pleasure and delight” and so I thought to post those etymologies as well!

joy                        

c.1200, “feeling of pleasure and delight;” c.1300, “source of pleasure or happiness,” from O.Fr. joie (11c.), from L. gaudia, pl. of gaudium “joy,” from gaudere “rejoice,” from PIE root *gau- “to rejoice” (cf. Gk. gaio “I rejoice,” M.Ir. guaire “noble”). Joy-riding is Amer.Eng., 1908.

pleasure (v.)

“give pleasure to,” 1550s, from pleasure (n.). Sexual sense by 1610s. Related: Pleasured; pleasuring.

pleasure (n.)

late 14c., “condition of enjoyment,” from O.Fr. plesir “enjoyment, delight” (12c.), from plaisir (v.) “to please,” from L. placere (see please (v.)). Ending altered in English 14c. by influence of words in -ure (measure, etc.). Meaning “sensual enjoyment as the chief object of life” is attested from 1520s.

delight (n.)

c.1200, delit, from O.Fr. delit “pleasure, delight, sexual desire,” from delitier “please greatly, charm,” from L. delectare “to allure, delight, charm, please,” frequentative of delicere “entice” (see delicious). Spelled delite until 16c. when it changed under influence of light, flight, etc.

Source for all the above : ONLINE ETYMOLOGY DICTIONARY

When someone says: “I am delighted to meet you” you will remember the above etymology won’t you?  And have a little smile to yourself…

I would say the word joy has evolved to describe the euphoric feeling a person might feel experiencing great happiness.

Being depressed for a while, I am remembering times when I felt absolute joy and I want to relive those times, because everything is better… my attitude, waking in the morning, any activity is done with some singing and a skip now and then, my sense of humour comes out to play etcetera…

One thing that may be a curse or something good about me is the need to ‘research’ my feelings and make sense of them.  The best thing about me is I consciously attempt to learn from my mistakes however I never give up on what I believe can be “saved”.  My intentions always pure, I believe all humans were born with absolutely no evil intentions (and contrary to Christian belief – WITHOUT or NOT INTO sin).  I strongly believe a new born babe is given a clean slate.

However many previous “lives” one might imagine we each have, when we come to the current one, it is “from scratch”.  I have a strong feeling in my mind that the waft about “previous lives” is bullshit anyway – logic tells me if there is population explosion, where did the extra souls come from?  Unless we were all like Voldemort from Harry Potter and can split our souls?  Highly unlikely.  This is a topic of debate for another time.

Anyway, I was straying from the idea; if we were all born into a “clean slate”, then at that point up until a certain point in our innocent childhoods we were “good” – all of us.  I strongly believe that those that became evil were “pushed” one way or another.  Having been through a rollercoaster of emotions myself, I can imagine that there may be far more sensitive people in the world, possibly genetically inherited, who may not be as strong as I am (I can pull myself out of a depression), who require assistance.  I believe that they may not have experienced this depression had they had the correct diet, some exercise and caring personalities surrounding them.

So… about my future; growing up in turmoil and having to learn to be self-sufficient, a single mother, a leader and so on, I always wanted to be what is socially classed as “normal”.  i.e. married to a caring husband, nice house with pool, career, blah blah blah… As time went (as well as relationships), I realised this is not my future.  Should I have a future?  What about now?  If we all worry about the future we neglect things going on now to focus on something that may never happen.

My future is a minute from now.  I have decided to live day-to-day sans plans and sans disillusions about what may seem “normal” to anyone.  I have no pressure trying to “create” situations in order to “reach a goal” (a humanism which irritates the shit out of me… “You MUST have goals!  What?  No I don’t!)  I don’t have to listen to anyone but myself.  The power is within me, myself and I and nobody else can dictate what I must have, say or do.

This brings me some “joy” and I’m so much happier for it!

So much to do

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So much to do… garden, home, art, food and read.  I will keep myself busy… No people, switch computer off… Later… a nice red wine and absolute silence…

I love this weather… we don’t have spring, we move straight to summer… Souf Efrikan style! 😀

Self esteem… feeling worth-ful and talking to myself

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Dearest Nat…

STOP hating yourself for everything you aren’t

START  loving yourself for everything you are!

I need to view my situation like this:

The past is the past.  Let it go so you can begin the future.  Remember, anything can happen and you can make it good.

Don’t hate.  Don’t feel worthless.

Moving on…

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I wrote this initially with very mixed emotions.  It seems the heavens conspired to create great discord in my life recently.

I will not go into the details but I will say that I am deeply saddened and disillusioned by the recent turn of events.  Despite this, I shall (as always), remain strong and steadfast as an example to my younger child who believes I am a heroine and miracle worker.

On the positive side I think the ‘winds-of-change’ are perfectly timed to coincide the coming spring, which seems to have already started in Johannesburg.  I will view this as a much needed fresh perspective not only on the horrible events currently but also on where I want my life to go from this point forward.

This attitude really inspires me whilst in the back chambers of my mind and heart, the pain still resides waiting to dissipate, hence the mixed emotions I mentioned earlier.

There awaits for me a wonderful adventure and there is abundant opportunities waiting to be grasped and turned into something meaningful to me.

I want to banish all the negativity:  I do deserve happiness.  I do deserve love.  I do deserve success.

Sans regrets

3 Comments


Think happy thoughts Nat…think happy thoughts…think happy thoughts….only happy thoughts… and above all… breathe…

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